Will you marry us?

Not in a Big Love kind of way. In a I-now-pronounce-you-man-and-wife kind of way.

Until now, we've had a lot of good luck with securing the folks that are going to play important roles in our day. Originally, we had hoped that my cousin would be willing to get ordained online to perform the ceremony. While he is very supportive of our relationship, he didn't feel that he was the appropriate person to do the honors. So we are now trying to find a stranger.

I'm not gonna lie... I'm pretty bummed that some random person will be our officiant. We aren't religious, so we don't have a pastor to ask. I'm not sure asking a friend at this point would feel right. I've looked extensively online and only found 2 people in Laughlin that may perform non-denominational weddings. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. The ceremony will be less than 10 minutes, but it will be the most important 10 minutes of my life. And since we live 9 hours from our ceremony site, we won't have a lot of time to really get to know this person.

So, I kind of saw this coming, but I am still sad. I'm sure it will be perfectly fine. But I'm not sure "fine" will be enough for the person pronouncing us husband and wife. *sigh*

Are/were you married by a stranger? What did you do to better acquaint yourselves before the big day? Was it awkward? Any do's and don't's that you can share?

They don't always say "yes."

The last week has been full of all kinds of twists and turns. Things with Mr. D and I are fine. I'm actually back home from my seemingly-endless work trip, so things are already looking up (However, I haven't actually unpacked. Anything.). We still haven't heard about our offer on Savannah, and my heart skips a beat everytime I get an email alert.

But things are not so great with some other important folks in our lives: Mr. D's bro, FBIL C and his girlfriend, Ms. CY. You see, they have been together for 6 years. They have been living together for about 4 years and have a dog together. Mr. CD proposed to Ms. CY on their 6th anniversary, while ice skating (cute, right?). Well, things get hazy from there.

The news I got was that he presented her with her promise ring, and he was going to take her ring shopping so she could pick out exactly what she wanted. She said yes. We sent them congratulatory text messages and I offered to help her plan her big day.

Out of respect for FBIL C and Ms. CY, I will skip the details. Suffice it to say, they are not planning a wedding. Ms. CY isn't sure that she wants to spend the rest of her life with FBIL C. He is wondering why on earth she had a ring as her desktop pic and frequently brought up marriage over the last few months.

Their situation reminds me of the relationship I was in before I met Mr. D. I'll call him XBF. XBF and I dated for 7 years. We talked about getting married for a few years before I found out that he had a girlfriend for the last 9 months of our relationship (YUCK). We were young when we met, and after spending that much time together, it was just sort of expected that we would get married. I never asked myself if we should get married. (Did I mention I was young?) Like Ms. Snapdragon (shout out!), I feel like learning of his infidelity was the best thing that could have happened to me. It saved me from making a gigantic mistake.

I feel like FBIL C and Ms. CY have also avoided making a mistake. I know it will hurt, but I'm really proud of them for being honest with themselves before dates were set, deposits were paid and vows were repeated.

So, in the end Ms. CY said no. I don't have any experience in this area, so I wonder... does this happen often? Especially after years of togetherness? Have you ever said no?

Bad, bad wannabee

I feel terrible. Not because life is terrible, but because I haven't been able to blog about all of the changes that are going on. I told you a bit about the latest twists in our lives, and I have been in a strange and stressful holding pattern while waiting for news. Any news.

So, the update. Mr. D and I do not want to move to LA. After making that decision, we FINALLY agreed to put an offer on Savannah. Who is Savannah? That is what I have named the house that I have completely fallen in love with. You know, the one that I thought was out, but then turned out to be back in my price range. Why? Because ever since we stepped foot in her, I pictured what the next 5 to 10 (15?) years of our lives would be like with her. When we decided to start looking, we had a very strict list of criteria. There were a lot of houses in our price range that looked good online, but in person were a complete nightmare. Savannah was the 4th or 14 houses that we saw in one day. As the days passed, I couldn't get her off my mind, but Mr. D and I couldn't agree that it was the right house or the right time to put down an offer.

Fast forward one week. I'm now in LA for work and Mr. D is still convinced that the market is going to take a bigger nosedive and if we just *wait* then we can save, like, a bajillion dollars. I argued that there was no time like the present, and we would be better off at least trying to get Savannah. He looked at 5 more houses by himself and then reluctantly agreed with me. Savannah was the one.

DISCLAIMER: Do not try to make new home decisions with your significant other while working out of town for 3 weeks on very different schedules while he is trying to recover from a physical injury. There is something about not being able to see his face and read his body language that makes it very difficult to know when to push an issue or when to back off, especially with someone as non-confrontational as Mr. D.

Last week was a hard week. Although we came around to the same point of view, it took a lot of tense moments and conversations to get there. A lot of hard work and patience were essential for us to get to the same conclusion, but it looks like our hard work is already starting to pay off. We are the front runners for Savannah, and the bank might have a decision as early as the end of next week. I'm staying cautiously optimistic.

Savannah

Finding a house has been our biggest concern prior to getting married. It is a huge decision, and aside from when I moved in with him, one of the first major decisions that we have made together. Now things like appetizers and honeymoon locations seem like easy peasy decisions. (And still super fun!)

What has put your wedding/life into perspective for you?

Wow, time flies!

It has been 4 days since my last post and a few major things have happened:

1. Mr. D and I went house hunting and found a house that we loved that was out of my range.*
2. I found out that I will approve for a larger home loan than I once expected, so the house we loved was back in my range.
3. Mr. D hyper extended his knee playing flag football in the rain
4. My boss pretty much told me that if I move back to LA from Sacramento, I will get a promotion. If I don't, there is a chance that I could get canned.
5. House search has been expanded to LA area and put on pause

So, please forgive me for not writing more at the moment. Our wedding date is our deadline to have all of these things worked out (aside from Mr. D's knee), so it has taken "starting a new life together" to a whole new meaning. It has been stressful, especially since Mr. D and I are 6 hours apart while I'm away for work. I know that it will be very rewarding when this has worked itself out. Until then, I will keep feeling like I'm going to throw up.

*For personal reasons, I am purchasing the house before we are married.

My heart doesn't beat... it flip flops!

I know there are a lot of shoe obsessed brides in the world. A lot of women go gaga over a great designer stileto/flat/peep/d'orsay (shout out to you shoe bees!). I am a sucker for flip flops. Cheap, comfortable flip flops.

I'm afraid to even attempt to count how many pairs I have. I'd estimate the number around 20. I have about 3 pairs of everyday flip flops, and if I can help it, they are the only shoes I wear. I wear them in the rain, to and from work (I have to change when I'm in the office... boo!), running errands, out to dinner, everywhere. All the time.

My wedding day was not going to be any exception. After my dress arrived, I tried it on and knew that I wouldn't have to get much (if any) length taken off the bottom (yay petite sizes!). I have been on the look out for the *perfect* flip flop to go with my dress. While on a shopping trip to Nordstrom Rack for Mr. D, I couldn't resist a quick run through the shoe department. And there they were! My perfectly fitting, totally comfortable, and just the right height...

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I couldn't be happier. And the price was right at $20. Yes, I got my wedding dress and shoes for $99. Hello bargin!

As I mentioned, my love of flip flops heavily influenced my theme. Since I was going to be in flip flops, I wanted our guests to feel comfortable as well, so we are encouraging "resort attire and flip flops are encouraged." The groom and groomsmen will be in casual silk shirts and khakis, and flip flops of course! Bridesmaids are welcome to wear them as well.

So, yes, I planned my wedding around my shoes. Am I the only one? Are you wearing flip flops too?

Goldilocks and the three dresses

Before I met Mr. D, pictured a very different kind of wedding. I imagined wearing a very large ball gown with a sweeping train, intricate beading and yards of flawless white satin. Something not unlike this Kenneth Pool dress...

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But, as you know, my new ideal wedding has taken on a very different personality. Because we will be dealing with temperatures near 90 degrees that day, I didn't want to wear something heavy. I started my search early (12 months) in the planning process for a few different reasons: 1.) it's fun, 2.) I have a bit of weight to lose before the big day and I was worried that it might take me a while to find something that would look good on me, 3.) I was afraid it would be hard to find a dress that worked with my theme and price range.

I did the usual magazine and online browsing. I really wanted to keep things simple, so I zeroed in on the Casablance 1831. While I was in So Cal for work, I made an appointment to try her on at the bridal shop down the street from my mom's house. She was even more beautiful in person, with delicate beading with enough sparkle, but not too much. She was lightweight and and a gorgeous color. But I couldn't commit because it didn't zip. The consultant assured me that ordering my size would be no problem, but I didn't want to be the size I was at the time. So I walked away, determined to work out and shape up so I could try the dress on for real.

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But I couldn't commit, so I continued to look for dresses. I considered tea length dresses for awhile, but it wasn't what I really wanted. I have seen some really fabulous tea length dresses on other brides (Mrs. Onion!), but I didn't think it would be the right look for me. I made a couple of uneventful trips to David's Bridal, but didn't take any pictures. I tried on some very pretty dresses, but none got me very excited. So, back to the world wide web I went.

And then I found her on nordstrom.com...

Isn't she divine? She's matte jersey, with big fat chunky rhinestones and a side zip by JS Boutique. There is rouching over the bust and back and I'm totally in love. She was listed for $180 and only available online. But there was a handy dandy size chart so that I was able to determine my size without trying her on. But as you know, I'm not to hip on paying full price for anything. I turned to my trusty friend, Google, and continued my search. Low and behold, my dress was listed on eBay, in my size, and with no reserve! I placed my bid and remained nervous/obsessed for 2 days, 18 hours and 6 minutes. There was a flurry of activity at the end of the auction, but I won. I WON! The winning bid? $69. Plus $10 shipping. I won my wedding dress for $79.

I wish I had taken pictures of her arrival. Mr. D was mowing the lawn when it arrived, so he accepted it for me and handed me an envelope. I recognized the return name, but never in a million years thought my dress would come in an envelope. I opened the envelope carefully to find a perfectly folded dress. I pulled it out, and there wasn't a wrinkle in it. I had purchased the perfect domestination wedding dress!

Every bride wants a perfect dress. What makes your dress perfect for you?

Where do I start?

For as long as I can remember, I have pictured my wedding. As I've gotten older, the picture has changed quite a bit. I've already told you about the venue I imagined and the location that we booked. Once we were engaged, I felt a HUGE amount of pressure. I didn't want to spend any extra money. Any. So I knew that I needed to make sure that if I made any decisions and purchases, that they were final. I pictured myself in a bridal version of "Who wants to be a millionaire."

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Meridith Vieira: "Ready2bmrsd, what colors would you like your wedding to be? A) pink, black and silver; B) white, ivory and gold; C) chocolate, pear and cream; or D) teal, navy and white."
Me: "Can I get a 50/50?"
*Cue dramatic music*
Meridith: "Computer, please take away two options."
*Funny 50/50 noise*
Meridith: "That leaves you with B) white, ivory and gold or C) chocolate, pear and cream."
Me: "C) chocolate, pear and cream"
Meridith: "Is that your final answer?"
Me: "Uhhhh, I think so."
*Gulp*

You see, I thought that if I had an idea that I liked and I shared it with anyone, I needed to be sure that it was my "final answer." It is sort of like buying a dress, but continuing to try them on. What if I found something that I liked better? What if I fell in love with accessories that would look better with a different theme?

I wanted to make sure that I didn't spend a lot of time or energy going off in the wrong direction. Then I got some great advice from a friend: buy something. If you start buying things in the color scheme or theme that you like, then you can't change your mind. Brilliant!

So go figure, but I didn't buy anything that had anything to do with my theme. I bought it because I liked it. What was it? My cake topper. I got my vintage cake topper from a seller on ebay for $11.

She's blonde, he's not. She has a sweet veil, and I love how they are holding hands. I'm not going to build our wedding around our cake topper, but it seemed like a generic place to start. Since then, I have definitely developed a theme, and I can't wait to share it with you!

Where did you start your wedding planning? Did you change directions mid-stream? Do you remember what your first purchase was?