Will you marry us?

Not in a Big Love kind of way. In a I-now-pronounce-you-man-and-wife kind of way.

Until now, we've had a lot of good luck with securing the folks that are going to play important roles in our day. Originally, we had hoped that my cousin would be willing to get ordained online to perform the ceremony. While he is very supportive of our relationship, he didn't feel that he was the appropriate person to do the honors. So we are now trying to find a stranger.

I'm not gonna lie... I'm pretty bummed that some random person will be our officiant. We aren't religious, so we don't have a pastor to ask. I'm not sure asking a friend at this point would feel right. I've looked extensively online and only found 2 people in Laughlin that may perform non-denominational weddings. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. The ceremony will be less than 10 minutes, but it will be the most important 10 minutes of my life. And since we live 9 hours from our ceremony site, we won't have a lot of time to really get to know this person.

So, I kind of saw this coming, but I am still sad. I'm sure it will be perfectly fine. But I'm not sure "fine" will be enough for the person pronouncing us husband and wife. *sigh*

Are/were you married by a stranger? What did you do to better acquaint yourselves before the big day? Was it awkward? Any do's and don't's that you can share?

They don't always say "yes."

The last week has been full of all kinds of twists and turns. Things with Mr. D and I are fine. I'm actually back home from my seemingly-endless work trip, so things are already looking up (However, I haven't actually unpacked. Anything.). We still haven't heard about our offer on Savannah, and my heart skips a beat everytime I get an email alert.

But things are not so great with some other important folks in our lives: Mr. D's bro, FBIL C and his girlfriend, Ms. CY. You see, they have been together for 6 years. They have been living together for about 4 years and have a dog together. Mr. CD proposed to Ms. CY on their 6th anniversary, while ice skating (cute, right?). Well, things get hazy from there.

The news I got was that he presented her with her promise ring, and he was going to take her ring shopping so she could pick out exactly what she wanted. She said yes. We sent them congratulatory text messages and I offered to help her plan her big day.

Out of respect for FBIL C and Ms. CY, I will skip the details. Suffice it to say, they are not planning a wedding. Ms. CY isn't sure that she wants to spend the rest of her life with FBIL C. He is wondering why on earth she had a ring as her desktop pic and frequently brought up marriage over the last few months.

Their situation reminds me of the relationship I was in before I met Mr. D. I'll call him XBF. XBF and I dated for 7 years. We talked about getting married for a few years before I found out that he had a girlfriend for the last 9 months of our relationship (YUCK). We were young when we met, and after spending that much time together, it was just sort of expected that we would get married. I never asked myself if we should get married. (Did I mention I was young?) Like Ms. Snapdragon (shout out!), I feel like learning of his infidelity was the best thing that could have happened to me. It saved me from making a gigantic mistake.

I feel like FBIL C and Ms. CY have also avoided making a mistake. I know it will hurt, but I'm really proud of them for being honest with themselves before dates were set, deposits were paid and vows were repeated.

So, in the end Ms. CY said no. I don't have any experience in this area, so I wonder... does this happen often? Especially after years of togetherness? Have you ever said no?

Bad, bad wannabee

I feel terrible. Not because life is terrible, but because I haven't been able to blog about all of the changes that are going on. I told you a bit about the latest twists in our lives, and I have been in a strange and stressful holding pattern while waiting for news. Any news.

So, the update. Mr. D and I do not want to move to LA. After making that decision, we FINALLY agreed to put an offer on Savannah. Who is Savannah? That is what I have named the house that I have completely fallen in love with. You know, the one that I thought was out, but then turned out to be back in my price range. Why? Because ever since we stepped foot in her, I pictured what the next 5 to 10 (15?) years of our lives would be like with her. When we decided to start looking, we had a very strict list of criteria. There were a lot of houses in our price range that looked good online, but in person were a complete nightmare. Savannah was the 4th or 14 houses that we saw in one day. As the days passed, I couldn't get her off my mind, but Mr. D and I couldn't agree that it was the right house or the right time to put down an offer.

Fast forward one week. I'm now in LA for work and Mr. D is still convinced that the market is going to take a bigger nosedive and if we just *wait* then we can save, like, a bajillion dollars. I argued that there was no time like the present, and we would be better off at least trying to get Savannah. He looked at 5 more houses by himself and then reluctantly agreed with me. Savannah was the one.

DISCLAIMER: Do not try to make new home decisions with your significant other while working out of town for 3 weeks on very different schedules while he is trying to recover from a physical injury. There is something about not being able to see his face and read his body language that makes it very difficult to know when to push an issue or when to back off, especially with someone as non-confrontational as Mr. D.

Last week was a hard week. Although we came around to the same point of view, it took a lot of tense moments and conversations to get there. A lot of hard work and patience were essential for us to get to the same conclusion, but it looks like our hard work is already starting to pay off. We are the front runners for Savannah, and the bank might have a decision as early as the end of next week. I'm staying cautiously optimistic.

Savannah

Finding a house has been our biggest concern prior to getting married. It is a huge decision, and aside from when I moved in with him, one of the first major decisions that we have made together. Now things like appetizers and honeymoon locations seem like easy peasy decisions. (And still super fun!)

What has put your wedding/life into perspective for you?

Wow, time flies!

It has been 4 days since my last post and a few major things have happened:

1. Mr. D and I went house hunting and found a house that we loved that was out of my range.*
2. I found out that I will approve for a larger home loan than I once expected, so the house we loved was back in my range.
3. Mr. D hyper extended his knee playing flag football in the rain
4. My boss pretty much told me that if I move back to LA from Sacramento, I will get a promotion. If I don't, there is a chance that I could get canned.
5. House search has been expanded to LA area and put on pause

So, please forgive me for not writing more at the moment. Our wedding date is our deadline to have all of these things worked out (aside from Mr. D's knee), so it has taken "starting a new life together" to a whole new meaning. It has been stressful, especially since Mr. D and I are 6 hours apart while I'm away for work. I know that it will be very rewarding when this has worked itself out. Until then, I will keep feeling like I'm going to throw up.

*For personal reasons, I am purchasing the house before we are married.

My heart doesn't beat... it flip flops!

I know there are a lot of shoe obsessed brides in the world. A lot of women go gaga over a great designer stileto/flat/peep/d'orsay (shout out to you shoe bees!). I am a sucker for flip flops. Cheap, comfortable flip flops.

I'm afraid to even attempt to count how many pairs I have. I'd estimate the number around 20. I have about 3 pairs of everyday flip flops, and if I can help it, they are the only shoes I wear. I wear them in the rain, to and from work (I have to change when I'm in the office... boo!), running errands, out to dinner, everywhere. All the time.

My wedding day was not going to be any exception. After my dress arrived, I tried it on and knew that I wouldn't have to get much (if any) length taken off the bottom (yay petite sizes!). I have been on the look out for the *perfect* flip flop to go with my dress. While on a shopping trip to Nordstrom Rack for Mr. D, I couldn't resist a quick run through the shoe department. And there they were! My perfectly fitting, totally comfortable, and just the right height...

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I couldn't be happier. And the price was right at $20. Yes, I got my wedding dress and shoes for $99. Hello bargin!

As I mentioned, my love of flip flops heavily influenced my theme. Since I was going to be in flip flops, I wanted our guests to feel comfortable as well, so we are encouraging "resort attire and flip flops are encouraged." The groom and groomsmen will be in casual silk shirts and khakis, and flip flops of course! Bridesmaids are welcome to wear them as well.

So, yes, I planned my wedding around my shoes. Am I the only one? Are you wearing flip flops too?

Goldilocks and the three dresses

Before I met Mr. D, pictured a very different kind of wedding. I imagined wearing a very large ball gown with a sweeping train, intricate beading and yards of flawless white satin. Something not unlike this Kenneth Pool dress...

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But, as you know, my new ideal wedding has taken on a very different personality. Because we will be dealing with temperatures near 90 degrees that day, I didn't want to wear something heavy. I started my search early (12 months) in the planning process for a few different reasons: 1.) it's fun, 2.) I have a bit of weight to lose before the big day and I was worried that it might take me a while to find something that would look good on me, 3.) I was afraid it would be hard to find a dress that worked with my theme and price range.

I did the usual magazine and online browsing. I really wanted to keep things simple, so I zeroed in on the Casablance 1831. While I was in So Cal for work, I made an appointment to try her on at the bridal shop down the street from my mom's house. She was even more beautiful in person, with delicate beading with enough sparkle, but not too much. She was lightweight and and a gorgeous color. But I couldn't commit because it didn't zip. The consultant assured me that ordering my size would be no problem, but I didn't want to be the size I was at the time. So I walked away, determined to work out and shape up so I could try the dress on for real.

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But I couldn't commit, so I continued to look for dresses. I considered tea length dresses for awhile, but it wasn't what I really wanted. I have seen some really fabulous tea length dresses on other brides (Mrs. Onion!), but I didn't think it would be the right look for me. I made a couple of uneventful trips to David's Bridal, but didn't take any pictures. I tried on some very pretty dresses, but none got me very excited. So, back to the world wide web I went.

And then I found her on nordstrom.com...

Isn't she divine? She's matte jersey, with big fat chunky rhinestones and a side zip by JS Boutique. There is rouching over the bust and back and I'm totally in love. She was listed for $180 and only available online. But there was a handy dandy size chart so that I was able to determine my size without trying her on. But as you know, I'm not to hip on paying full price for anything. I turned to my trusty friend, Google, and continued my search. Low and behold, my dress was listed on eBay, in my size, and with no reserve! I placed my bid and remained nervous/obsessed for 2 days, 18 hours and 6 minutes. There was a flurry of activity at the end of the auction, but I won. I WON! The winning bid? $69. Plus $10 shipping. I won my wedding dress for $79.

I wish I had taken pictures of her arrival. Mr. D was mowing the lawn when it arrived, so he accepted it for me and handed me an envelope. I recognized the return name, but never in a million years thought my dress would come in an envelope. I opened the envelope carefully to find a perfectly folded dress. I pulled it out, and there wasn't a wrinkle in it. I had purchased the perfect domestination wedding dress!

Every bride wants a perfect dress. What makes your dress perfect for you?

Where do I start?

For as long as I can remember, I have pictured my wedding. As I've gotten older, the picture has changed quite a bit. I've already told you about the venue I imagined and the location that we booked. Once we were engaged, I felt a HUGE amount of pressure. I didn't want to spend any extra money. Any. So I knew that I needed to make sure that if I made any decisions and purchases, that they were final. I pictured myself in a bridal version of "Who wants to be a millionaire."

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Meridith Vieira: "Ready2bmrsd, what colors would you like your wedding to be? A) pink, black and silver; B) white, ivory and gold; C) chocolate, pear and cream; or D) teal, navy and white."
Me: "Can I get a 50/50?"
*Cue dramatic music*
Meridith: "Computer, please take away two options."
*Funny 50/50 noise*
Meridith: "That leaves you with B) white, ivory and gold or C) chocolate, pear and cream."
Me: "C) chocolate, pear and cream"
Meridith: "Is that your final answer?"
Me: "Uhhhh, I think so."
*Gulp*

You see, I thought that if I had an idea that I liked and I shared it with anyone, I needed to be sure that it was my "final answer." It is sort of like buying a dress, but continuing to try them on. What if I found something that I liked better? What if I fell in love with accessories that would look better with a different theme?

I wanted to make sure that I didn't spend a lot of time or energy going off in the wrong direction. Then I got some great advice from a friend: buy something. If you start buying things in the color scheme or theme that you like, then you can't change your mind. Brilliant!

So go figure, but I didn't buy anything that had anything to do with my theme. I bought it because I liked it. What was it? My cake topper. I got my vintage cake topper from a seller on ebay for $11.

She's blonde, he's not. She has a sweet veil, and I love how they are holding hands. I'm not going to build our wedding around our cake topper, but it seemed like a generic place to start. Since then, I have definitely developed a theme, and I can't wait to share it with you!

Where did you start your wedding planning? Did you change directions mid-stream? Do you remember what your first purchase was?

Bargin Alert!

Ladies, listen up. Crane's is having their semi-annual clearance sale!

Wouldn't these Adirondack chairs be great invitations for a beach themed shower? (10 cards regularly $15, on sale for $8.99)


I love these Kate Spade cards for a girlie bridal shower thank you (10 cards regularly $25, on sale for $12.50)

These would be great thank you's for a deco themed wedding (10 cards regularly $15, on sale for $7.50)

And if I got a bachelorette party invite in one of these babies, I know I'd be in for a good time! (10 cards regularly $15, on sale for $7.50)

With prices like these, you can afford to save yourself a(nother) DIY project!

Hi, my name is ready2bmrsd, and I'm a barginaholic.

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to recovery, right? Well, let me begin with the admission that I have an unhealthy relationship with clearance items.

I'll take all of them, whatever they are! (Source)

I have always been drawn to "a good deal". My problem is that I tend to see a good deal as an opportunity to buy more than I normally would. For example, I like to crochet. If I find a good price on yarn, I will typically buy more than I would need for one project. The problem is that I hardly ever use the surplus! Same goes for socks, butter knives and batteries. But I am especially guilty of this with craft items. And I have the closets of remnants, paper scraps, glue, glitter and yarn to prove it. I'm not proud, and I am dedicated to change. (Yes I can!)

Then I found it. The stationary/scrapbooking aisle at Target had clearance tags everywhere. I couldn't help myself... I had to see what the tags were attached to. I found two sets of alphabet stamps, and while I was looking for paper, I found my guest book. And refill pages. With orange stickers. JACKPOT!

My guestbook (8.5x8.5 scrapbook) for $7.55

And refill pages (I bought 3) for $2.78 each

I desperately wanted a Polaroid guestbook, and like so many, my world was rocked when I heard that the film was discontinued. But I loved Mrs. Eggplant's guestbook and I think I'll try to do something similar. I plan on buying a Pogo to print guest photos on the spot. My awesome sister in law has agreed to "man" the guestbook table and get pics of our friends and family. I know there are some mixed reviews on the Pogo, but I like that we can keep the pictures in our digital camera and reprint if we need to.

So, without counting the Pogo (you can bet that I'll be looking for it on sale!), my guestbook cost $15.89 (total savings, for those of you keeping score, $6.87). I can't wait until it all comes together!

What has been your best bridal bargin thus far? Where did you find it?

Controlling something you can't see and never stops moving forward...

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TIME. Anyone who has an alarm clock, has made an appointment, or met a deadline knows how important time management is. Some days, managing time is more important than others. It can be very rewarding if you manage your time well, and things can really fall apart if you don't.

We all know how important time management is for wedding planning. If you spend too much time planning, it can impact your job, hobbies and workout schedule. If you don't spend enough, you could miss out on your first choice of vendors or have to pay a premium for a last minute delivery.

Over the last year or so, I have become more "selfish" with my time. I say "selfish" because I feel like there is some weird societal pressure to accept every invitation or give more of yourself than you are comfortable with. I'm over it. If an alumni group is getting together, they will be fine without me. If I don't feel like eating and drinking, I can skip a happy hour every once in awhile. As I look forward to the next 8 months before Mr. D and I say "I do", I know that there will be lots of invitations that we will probably have to decline for one reason or another (my sanity being one of them). I'm not going to feel guilty about it.

And time management is going to be even more important than ever before. Lucky for me, this is something that Mr. D is already very good at. He is extraordinarily good at balancing time with me and time with his friends, family and work. Not sure how he does it so well with only 24 hours in the day. I know how fortunate I am to be with someone who gets this as well as he does. He really inspires me to find time for myself, the people, activities and things I love.

How do you make time for all of the things that you need to do or want to do? Any great tips for maintaining relationships during this insanely busy time? Do you feel guilty for carving out time for yourself?

February 14

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This post doesn't directly have much to do with our wedding, but since it is a day to celebrate love, it seems very relevant to my relationship with Mr. D. This year, the mister will be out of town for work, so we will be celebrating on some day other than February 14th.

Like most holidays, Valentine's Day means different things to different people. Some people celebrate SAD (Single's Awareness Day), while others boycott all together (single or not). Some see it as Hallmark's way to sell more cards. Others look forward to it all year. My grandparents are celebrating 63 years of marriage this year (Happy Anniversary, Grammy and Pap Pap!).

Mr. D and I fall somewhere in the middle of the bell curve on this topic. I love a special kissy-face day, but I'm ok if we can't celebrate it on Valentine's Day. Mr. D is pretty romantic all year round, so the date doesn't matter very much. I know some people would probably be upset if they had to do this, but it's really not a big deal to me. Because the economy is what it is, I'm just glad that we both have jobs that we like, so if it means we have to travel, it's really not the end of the world.

I'm excited about the Valentine's Day gift that I got for Mr. D this year... 2 tickets to see his favorite basketball team play. It has been something that I have wanted to do for him for a long time, and I know he will love it. Sure, most women would think that basketball is less than romantic, and to be honest, I'm one of them. But I know how much Mr. D will appreciate the tickets, and I'm sure I'll get a churro out of it, so everyone wins.

I think the point of romance is making your partner feel special and important. For a lot of women, that means roses, chocolate and long walks on the beach. For guys, it may mean something totally different. Something that I learned from a show called "Newly Wed and Nearly Dead" is that romance is about doing what makes the other person feel good, not doing for them what would make you feel good. But I think doing things that makes the other person happy does make you feel really good in the end!

So, I'm excited for Valentine's Day this year even though I'll be alone. Obviously not because we're going out for a fancy dinner or that I will be getting a big box of chocolates, but because I have an opportunity to make Mr. D feel warm and fuzzy and let him know how special he is to me.

What does romance mean to you? What are your plans for Valentine's Day?

Meet the 'maids

I couldn't be blessed with better friends. They are smart, sassy and GORGEOUS! They all came into my life at different times, and don't know each other very well. I thought it was really important for them to get acquainted sooner rather than later. Problem is, I live 6 hours away from 3 of them, and the other lives in England. Doesn't allow for a lot of opportunities for all of us to get together. I thought a little newsletter would be a good way to describe the wedding to them and "introduce" them to each other.

The first page included bridesmaids bios (with a story of how we met, their picture and email address), a list of important dates and locations, and guidelines for their dresses (they are choosing their own... more on that later).

The second page included the story of how I chose my dress (online), pictures of our location and favors, flowers, my engagement ring and a coupon for dinner with the bride.

I was hoping that you'd be able to read the articles from the pictures, but they turned out really small. If you're interested, I will post the text seperately. :)

I wish my amazing gal pals knew each other better, but I'm excited that I will be able to get them together during the planning process. I have also found myself using the wedding as an excuse to talk to them more, which is a huge bonus for me. I can't get enough of these girls!

Sure, they made lots of fun of me for the Wedding Party Gazette, but I think it was a good ice breaker (the reply all emails after they went out were hilarious, at my expense, but that's ok).

Do your bridesmaids already know each other well? Are they close geographically? If not, how did you introduce them?

"We're a catering venue, not a wedding venue"

So the BMs and I take our bags to the car and make our way to the catering office. It was empty. We waited for about 5-10 minutes and didn't see a soul. The girls were hungry and I wanted to get this show on the road. Still waiting. We look around the (very small) catering office and notice the fab-u-lous pictures hanging on the walls and the gorgeous fan folded napkins on the shelf lining the perimeter of the room. I wish I had taken pictures... but here are some pictures from their website.

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Ok, so you're wondering where I lost my mind. You're thinking that I must be in need of serious medication. No, my friends, this is what I wanted. I wanted our wedding at a location that meant something to us.

But I digress. I went out to the hallway to find someone that could page "Catering Manager" B for us. This woman was walking quickly towards me, and has practically passed me to walk into the office when I asked her if she is "CM"B. It was her, and she seemed surprised to see me. Odd, since we had spoken only about 20 minutes before. Fine. We introduce ourselves and...

"CM"B: "What would you like to meet about?"
Me: "I'd like to walk through the space that I have reserved for my wedding."
"CM"B: "Oh, so you want to go outside?"
Me: "Uhhhh, yeah. My wedding is outside."

She pulls out a file (with my name on it, points for her) and her calendar (with my name and reservation on the right date, more points for her), then says, "Ok, we can go see it." BMs and I follow behind her on our way to the golf cart (is it smart to give her keys to a moving vehicle?), and they look at me like this woman is nuts. I put on a brave face and rode shotgun.

On the ride over, she proceeded to tell me about two of her recent experiences with brides: one called her the day after Christmas to cancel- she had caught her fiance cheating; another hadn't had a legal wedding but was sworn to secrecy by the "groom". REALLY? These are the stories that you share with someone planning a wedding at your venue? I. was. floored.

We get to the site and I begin to ask about dimensions of the space. I had done a bit of homework with the rental company that they recommend and asked "CM"B what was the largest tent the space could handle for the reception. Deer in headlights. She told me I'd have to ask the rental company. So you don't know the dimensions of your own space. Ok, how many chairs can I fit here? I'd like to put cocktail tables here. Do you have them? Can I see pictures of the arch that you said was included (because it might be hideous and I'm thinking I'll probably want to skip it)? I'm going to put my candy buffet here, is that ok? I need 2 bars and we need self serve beer because there will be a bottleneck after the ceremony. Can we do buckets on the tables?

She didn't understand cocktail tables, didn't understand the concept of a candy buffet, didn't have pictures of the arch. She tried to tell me that I wouldn't need 2bars (she clearly didn't understand the potential drinking power of our group). She then tells me that they provide a speaker and microphone set up for the ceremony (great!), but that I needed to bring my own CD player (ok, not a deal breaker). She then says, "We're a catering venue, not a wedding venue" so they didn't have someone that could hit "play". Wow. Ok. At least I know what I'm dealing with here!

I took lots of pictures of the space so that I could take it all home and digest it as much as I needed to. Thankfully, MOH K also has event planning experience, so I know I can depend on her for ideas and help. I told "CM"B that I could be as detailed as she needed me to be. I got to work right away on the following diagrams to help her understand my vision:

BOCD (Bridal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)? Yes, I have a bad case. But I want to make this wedding as idiot-proof as possible. Of course, she didn't reply to my email when I sent these. Ok, it was still the holidays, I'll give you a freebie. She didn't reply to my follow up email. Maybe you're not an email person. I left a message. Not a phone person either, huh? I called again. She picked up! Did you get my emails and voicemails? Oh, you did. I understand that you have been getting a lot of calls about weddings...

But HELLO! I'm one of them. *sigh*

Am I alone? Do you have more catering experience than the catering manager you are "working with"? Have any great tips for being ultra-super-duper clear with vendors?

When do you trust your gut?

When I booked the Avi Casino, I spoke with a very nice, knowledgeable woman who answered my questions with ease. I felt confident with Catering Manager A. You see, I work with caterers and venues all the time, so I'm fairly comfortable talking about numbers of tables, food options and space layout. However, I have never planned a wedding before, so rather than pepper her inbox with individual questions, I saved my questions up for about a week and sent one list.

I didn't get an answer. Resent. No answer. Ummm, what?

So, I called. I found out that Catering Manager A had been promoted and was no longer in the catering department. Well, great for her, but what about me? What about the long list of random questions that I sent to her? How would I know if I would be allowed to have my dog as my flower girl, or if my guests could use sparklers? Enter "Catering Manager" B. I didn't put her title in quotes to be a jerk. I put them there because she actually has them there in her email signature. Red flag? Maybe. But I am used to vendors in LA. I think of them as the best of the best. My wedding is not in LA. So, I tried to look beyond the quotes and get down to business. I forwarded my email to her and she went item by item and listed answers. Ok! Now we're getting somewhere!

I had planned to go out to the Avi with two of my bridesmaids after Christmas. I hadn't been out there since I booked the space, so I was excited to see it with my bride goggles on. The plan was to drive out with my girls on Saturday morning, meet with "Catering Manager" B in the afternoon, and sip some cocktails and play some slots that night. As you can imagine, nothing went as planned. We left later than we wanted to, hit some horrible traffic, stopped to shop at the outlet stores in Barstow, enjoyed some Del Taco and didn't get to the casino until after 8pm. We did sip cocktails and have a fun girlie night anyway.

In the morning, I woke up early and emailed "CM"B. I apologized for not meeting her the day before and told her that we would be around, if by any chance that she was in the office on a Sunday. I was so excited when I saw her number pop up on my cell phone later that morning! But then I picked up, and things went south...

Me: "Hello?"

"CM"B: "Hi, (my middle name)?"

Me: "No, this is (my first name)."

"CM"B: "Oh, hi. Ummm, I'm looking at your email and
it says that you'd like to meet today?"

Me: "Yes! I'm so lucky that you are in the office today. I would love to walk through the space with you. My bridesmaids and I are about to take our bags out to
the car. Can we do that, then meet with you?"

"CM"B: "Sure, that's fine. See you then."

Not to be picky, but she didn't get my name right, even though she was looking at my email. Really? REALLY? Ok, deep breath. Don't be a bridezilla. Just meet her and see how things go from there...

Did you get any strange feelings from your caterer/venue/vendor after you gave them a deposit? What did you do about it?

How to choose a date during football season

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This is the equation that we used to pick our wedding date:

• begin with 1 Year (2009)
• subtract late November through early March (it's cold in the desert)
• subtract mid-June through mid-September (it's hot in the desert)
• equals mid-March through mid-June and late September through mid-November

Still following?

• now subtact 6 Saturdays in the Fall (for home football games)
• subtract February through May (for my work schedule)
• equals NOT MUCH TO WORK WITH!

So we did the unthinkable in the college football world: we picked a home game weekend. I know, blasphemous. I actually ridicule people who do this. So why did I? I didn't have much choice. We got engaged in September, so trying to plan a June wedding would be really tough. Too tough if we wanted it to be 9 hours from home. So that essentially left football season.

In addition to being season ticket holders, I also need to be on campus for home games as part of my job description. This is incredibly awesome on any day other than wedding day. I knew I'd need the week off the weekend prior to the big day, and ideally I'd get to go on a honeymoon the week after. I know, selfish, right? :) If I chose October 10th, the week before and the week after would be away games. All I'd have to do is sacrafice one home game in order to have 3 weeks free. It made the most amount of sense. Plus, I really liked 10/10 because it will be easy to remember. Bonus!

We booked it and felt good about our decision. Sure, it wasn't a perfect date, but what else could we do? I tried not to think about it too much to avoid the remorse associated with knowing that I'd have to ask my friends to skip the game, and risk that the wedding and game would be happening on at the same time. I even had a list of friends that I know would get score updates on their phones, and was ready to reserve them aisle seats and create a series of hand signals so they could keep me posted. Nuts? Maybe. But I love me some USC football.

Fast forward 4 months. I got a text message from a co-worker that there had been an update to the football schedule: THE GAME HAD BEEN MOVED OFF OF OUR WEDDING DATE. Schedule changes like this don't happen everyday. The football gods had heard our prayers and had taken pity on Mr. D and me. Thank you, football gods. We will slaughter a keg every year in your honor. (In our best Wayne and Garth voices) "WE'RE NOT WORTHY, WE'RE NOT WORTHY!"

I know some bees have had a really hard time picking dates, too. What were your challenges?

Domestic + Destination = Domestination!

(source)

When I was a kid, growing up in LA, I had always had my heart set on The Castle Green as my wedding location. It is a beautiful old hotel-turned-residences and event space in Old Town Pasadena. I drove by it all the time and loved the old charm of the building and the gardens. I dreamed of wearing an elaborate ball gown, with flowers blanketing every possible surface. There would be custom lighting and signature everything...

Then I met Mr. D.

You see, he's not the formal type. And I have since realized that I'm not either. I know I have told you before that he relaxes me, but he does, and in ways I never expected. Our relationship has matured me a lot. While I can appreciate the finer things in life, I know that there is more than big price tags. Smiles, laughter and consideration mean more to me than decadent flowers, fine wine and fancy food. When it came down to bang for our wedding buck, we just wanted to have a party with our friends and family, and the more, the merrier!

Most of our families and friends are in Southern California. We live in Sacramento, along with another group of our friends. Mr. D's dad and my grandparents live (next door to each other!) across the river from where we met. We talked about which area would be best for the wedding, and we quickly agreed that we wanted a fun atmosphere with all of our nearest and dearest. Aside from that, we didn't have any strict criteria. I suggested we look into the casino that we hung out at the weekend we met. He loved the idea! And so it was decided... we'd get married at the Avi Resort and Casino. It is about a 4.5 hour drive from LA, so we knew not everyone would make it, but that the ones that wanted to be there would be. And it is beautiful, very casual and totally fun.

Above is an arial view of the Avi (source)

The awesome neon lights of the lobby. You know you love it! (source)

Above is the beach on the Colorado River, complete with tiki umbrellas (source)

This venue also happens to be about 9 hours from where we live. So I guess it would be considered a destination wedding. But when I tell people that we are having a destination wedding, they immediately think Hawaii or the Caribbean. So I've started calling it a "domestination" since it requires travel, but doesn't require a passport.

How many places did you consider before you settled on a venue? Are you having a "domestination" wedding?

The Jewelry Mart 101

Want to save lots of money on jewelry? Who doesn't!?! After my first trip to the mart, I was hooked. I promised myself that I would never ever ever pay mall or department store prices for jewelry ever again. Seriously, ladies, don't even pay super clearance sale prieces, because you can get a much better deal at the mart.

The mart is made up of more than 3,000 jewelers, and you can find just about any kind of piece you would ever want (and a lot that you would NEVER want). In order to have the most enjoyable experience, here are some tips that you might find useful:

• Early bird catches the (diamond encrusted) worm - Most lots will charge a flat rate if you arrive before 9am. If you arrive later in the day, parking can be charged in 15 minute increments at some lots. So, read the fine print before you park. Also, vendors will be eager to get their first sale of the day!
  
• Wear comfortable shoes - you will be doing lots of walking and standing. Finding the perfect piece at the right price sometimes takes time. Since you will be on your feet and potentially covering a lot of area, be comfortable! It's not a fashion show, believe me.


• Do lots of research before you go - know what you want and what kind of quality you are looking for. Comparison shop at mall stores and online. Know what a fair price is BEFORE you go. Then try to get it for 25% off of that.


• DON'T BE AFRAID TO HAGGLE! If you aren't comfortable haggling, bring a friend who is. The vendor's first price will never be their last. Everything is negotiable.


• Don't be afraid to walk away and keep looking - ask the vendor to write down their item number and the price they are willing to give you (and quality rating, if applicable) on a business card. If you look around and can't find a better price, having the agreed upon price in writing will help you if you wish to return for the item later. The business card will help you find the vendor, too (they all start looking alike after a while).


• Take your time - if you are in a hurry, they will sense it and will try to make a quick sale.


• Be a jewelry snob - if vendors don't think you know the difference between a flawless diamond and one with visible inclusions, they will charge you higher prices for a lesser quality stone. Don't be afraid to tell them that you don't want a diamond with black carbon flecks, or that the diamond they pulled "just for you" matches Big Bird. One of my fondest memories was telling a vendor that it looked like his diamond looked like it had been marked with a Sharpie. Once I asked to see his loupe, he knew he couldn't fool me and only showed me stones he thought I would actually approve of.


• Ask them to show you everything they have - the first diamond they show you will probably not be the best that they have (because they assume you don't know a good one from a crappy one). Ask them to show you more that you can compare side by side. They will have many in the same price range that will look very different from one another.


• Bring as much cash as you can - if the vendors don't have to pay credit card fees, they will typically pass the savings on to you. In fact, they may only charge tax on the amount you put on your credit card. Not a bad savings!


• Round down to the nearest whole number - once you agree on the final price, ask them to round down, especially if you are paying cash. For example, if your purchase comes to $5426 with tax, ask if you can have it for $5400. Never hurts to ask, and they just might say yes!

I hope this helps you navigate the jewelry mart! Believe me, patience pays off (I never thought I'd say that!). Below is my engagement ring, and it was worth waiting for...

What are your favorite jewelry buying tips?

... and the pitch!

We made it. Today was the day. I was going to be promoted from girlfriend to fiancee. WOO HOO!

We met his stepmom for breakfast, and she gave us a great pep talk before we went to the LA Jewelry Mart. I was really anxious when we got to the mart. She told us to take our time and find just the right ring. We window shopped, tried rings on (yes, Mr. D was looking for his ring while I was looking for mine) and when we found stuff we liked, we showed each other. The whole time I was reminding myself to not run up to perfect strangers and hug them; I was too excited for words. We decided to browse a lot before heading over to his stepmom's jeweler, and I'm really glad we did. It gave us a chance to compare prices and styles, and find exactly what we were looking for. Even though I had been picturing my perfect e-ring for a long time, it was hard to find. That is a tricky part about the mart - there are SO many beautiful rings to choose from. But if you're looking for the one you have imagined since you met the man of your dreams, it can take a lot of browsing to find it.

I feel SO fortunate to have had his stepmom with us. She was there for support and advice, but she let us pick the rings. And her jeweler was absolutely amazing. At one point, I was sure that I had tried on every ring in her case. I found the set I loved the most (the e-ring came with the wedding ring!), and Mr. D picked the center stone. Before I knew it, the ring was off my finger and on its way to another building to be mounted and sized. It hit me all at once: an engagement ring was being personalized for me. It was ovewhelming, so we went outside to get some air.

I don't really remember what we talked about but I do remember Mr. D saying that I couldn't actually wear the ring until he proposed. So, right there, in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the jewelry mart, he asked me to be his wife.

Then we waited another 30 minutes for the ring to be ready before he could put the ring on my finger. That might have been the longest 30 minutes of my life!

So, my proposal turned out to be perfect anyway. It was me and him. It wasn't a surprise, but that didn't make it any less meaningful or exciting. In fact, it was perfect to finish the day with a college football game because I got to jump up and down and scream my head off!



What made your proposal perfect?

The wind up...

So you're probably wondering how Mr. D ended up proposing. Let me first tell you a bit more about how Mr. D was going to propose.

Every year for the last 25 years, our families and friends have been getting together in Bishop, California for a weekend in July filled with softball and camping. I hadn't ever been until Mr. D and I started dating. It is something that we always look forward to and plan for long in advance. Since almost all of our nearest and dearest would be there, Mr. D was going to propose while we were all gathered around the campfire. The idea brought tears to my eyes (nevermind that I was already crying when he told me). I went from crying out of frustration, to happy crying because of his sentimentality, then sad crying because I had ruined it. I ruined exactly what I had been wishing for. And it was all my fault.

We went to Bishop that weekend and I tried to have a good time. Part of me still hoped that he was still going to propose that weekend, even if it wasn't in front of everyone. So I spent a lot of time asking him if he wanted to go for walks in the woods. Well, he didn't propose. And worse? I lost one of the diamond earrings that he had given me for our first anniversary. I was going to go home from Bishop with LESS diamonds than what I came with. How was this happening?!

On our last morning in Bishop, the earring was found. I'm not kidding. One of our friends found my diamond earring in the campground parking lot. Sure, it had been run over by a car, but I had my earring.

Then spent the entire month of August in LA for work. It was really hard to know that if I had been able to keep my big mouth shut, I would have been there with a fiance waiting for me at home. Yes, I still had an amazing boyfriend that clearly loved me enough to put up with my neuroses, but I wanted to marry him. It was a very long month.

September came, along with the start of college football and my birthday (yay!). We are USC Trojan season ticket holders and the first home game was the day before my 27th birthday. Our plan was to go straight from the airport to the game, but the flight was really early in the day, so we had some time to kill. I suggested going to the Jewelry Mart to get my earring fixed before the game. He smiled and said that we could also pick out my birthday present. Ok, buddy, that is dangerous for you to not clarify prior to our arrival at the mart. So, I did the unthinkable. I said, "What if I don't want a necklace?" He said, "I didn't think you'd want a necklace. I'm going to call my stepmom and get the name of her jeweler." So we hugged and I got GIDDY.

Did you get really frustrated waiting for him to propose?

Patience is annoying.

I know "they" say that patience is a virtue. "They" don't seem to understand that if everyone would just get on board with my awesome ideas, things would be smooth, quick and painless. This was never more true then the months leading up to our engagement.

Where do I begin? Let's start with this... Part of my agreeing to relocate 5.5 hours from home was reassurance from him that our relationship was moving towards marriage. You see, I never thought I'd be cohabitating prior to getting married. But I also knew that I wanted to share a zip code with him prior to making any life long promises to one another. For financial and practical reasons, I moved in with him. Mr. D and I had been living together for about 6 months, and I thought things were going great. We talked about the future in very vague terms (I was getting advice to NOT talk about marriage, which, unfortunately, I was taking). His financial state took a turn for the worse, but I'll spare you the details. Things got stressful, and I still wanted to get married. So did he, and he had been planing a very meaningful proposal. But after months of stress and what I saw as a lack of progress, I started to cry. A lot. Everyday.

I have always been a fan of therapy. I went a few times as a kid, mostly to appease my mother. But I always thought positively of the experience and knew that therapy would give me the clarity that I was craving. And, like the trooper he is, Mr. D went with me. I explained to the therapist that I was feeling desperate for security and frustrated that he hadn't proposed yet. He explained that he wanted to make the proposal special and that I needed to relax. She agreed. GREAT. Now I have to wait.

Oh, I should probably mention that I HATE surprises. I like being surprised, but if I know someone is planning to surprise me, I turn into an annoying 4 year old. I complain and whine until the surprise is spoiled. I feel better about it because I can plan around the "surprise", but the surpriser doesn't get the satisfaction of surprising me. Well, sad for them. I know, it's childish and selfish. I'm working on it.

So, I made him tell me. There were no guns or threats involved, but I couldn't stop crying and out of frustration he told me about the proposal he had been planning. It would have been perfect. *sigh*

Understandably, he didn't want to do it that way anymore. And I needed to be okay with the idea that I might not know how, when or where it would happen. *bigger sigh*

So, how did it happen, you ask? Stay tuned!

Were you surprised by your proposal? Was it where, when or how you expected?

"You can't talk to her..."

The story of how we met can be quite scandalous, depending on who is telling the story. Our families have been friends for many, many years (my uncle and his dad are best friends since college). We have an 8 year age gap between us, so had we noticed each much earlier in life, the story would be even juicier. We met over Thanksgiving Day weekend in 2005. I remember my cousin talking about some guy that she was friends with (turns out it was Mr. D and he was on his way over). She said that if they were both single by the time she was 30, then they were going to get married. Well, she wasn't too thrilled when Mr. D and I crossed paths over the mashed potatoes and hit it off. In fact, despite being friends with Mr. D since, oh, birth, she stopped talking to us. So my family was forced to pick sides, and things were a bit tense for awhile.

Ok, I'm not going to lie, things were more than a bit tense. I have a very large extended family, and I've never really been the topic of family gossip. This was the first time that I was involved (although I didn't want to be) in the family drama. Lucky me. All the while, I'm trying to start a relationship with this really great guy that I met, and I'm hoping my family doesn't completely scare him off.

To make matters more complicated, we lived 5.5 hours apart. Mr. D introduced me to the art of text messaging and it kept us connected during the day. We talked frequently, and both of us made a lot of trips up and down the state, and we averaged seeing each other every two or three weeks. We bonded over our love of football, riding quads and weekend getaways. Being with him was always an adventure and lots of fun.

And it still is! I'll leave you with a picture from our first official date... a New Years Eve party at Groomsman C's house... Did you have weird family drama when you met your fiance? Did you have to deal with jealousy from those close to you?

Who am I, and what am I doing here?

Hi everyone! I'm Ready2BMrsD, the bride to be! But I wasn't always this way. It wasn't until almost 3 years after meeting Mr. D that he popped the question, and now I'm almost a Mrs. So you have a little better of an idea of who we are, here's a bit about us:

Me - event planner in the field of education (think orientation and graduation). I grew up in LA, and moved to Sacramento to be with Mr. D about a year and a half ago. Even though I left my home, I didn't leave my job. I'm blessed to be able to telecommute for most of the month, while still having an office at a school that I love. I'm super girlie, love great sales, cheap food, puppies and plans. Any kinds of plans. My contingency plans have contingency plans.

Mr. D - gambling man. He works in the casino industry and has some really, really strange hours. He loves sports, the outdoors, clearance items and sushi. He's also a So Cal native, so he understands my need to visit the land of palm trees and traffic every once in a while. He is super laid back, and has taught me quite a bit about being spontaneous and relaxed.