"We're a catering venue, not a wedding venue"

So the BMs and I take our bags to the car and make our way to the catering office. It was empty. We waited for about 5-10 minutes and didn't see a soul. The girls were hungry and I wanted to get this show on the road. Still waiting. We look around the (very small) catering office and notice the fab-u-lous pictures hanging on the walls and the gorgeous fan folded napkins on the shelf lining the perimeter of the room. I wish I had taken pictures... but here are some pictures from their website.

(source)

Ok, so you're wondering where I lost my mind. You're thinking that I must be in need of serious medication. No, my friends, this is what I wanted. I wanted our wedding at a location that meant something to us.

But I digress. I went out to the hallway to find someone that could page "Catering Manager" B for us. This woman was walking quickly towards me, and has practically passed me to walk into the office when I asked her if she is "CM"B. It was her, and she seemed surprised to see me. Odd, since we had spoken only about 20 minutes before. Fine. We introduce ourselves and...

"CM"B: "What would you like to meet about?"
Me: "I'd like to walk through the space that I have reserved for my wedding."
"CM"B: "Oh, so you want to go outside?"
Me: "Uhhhh, yeah. My wedding is outside."

She pulls out a file (with my name on it, points for her) and her calendar (with my name and reservation on the right date, more points for her), then says, "Ok, we can go see it." BMs and I follow behind her on our way to the golf cart (is it smart to give her keys to a moving vehicle?), and they look at me like this woman is nuts. I put on a brave face and rode shotgun.

On the ride over, she proceeded to tell me about two of her recent experiences with brides: one called her the day after Christmas to cancel- she had caught her fiance cheating; another hadn't had a legal wedding but was sworn to secrecy by the "groom". REALLY? These are the stories that you share with someone planning a wedding at your venue? I. was. floored.

We get to the site and I begin to ask about dimensions of the space. I had done a bit of homework with the rental company that they recommend and asked "CM"B what was the largest tent the space could handle for the reception. Deer in headlights. She told me I'd have to ask the rental company. So you don't know the dimensions of your own space. Ok, how many chairs can I fit here? I'd like to put cocktail tables here. Do you have them? Can I see pictures of the arch that you said was included (because it might be hideous and I'm thinking I'll probably want to skip it)? I'm going to put my candy buffet here, is that ok? I need 2 bars and we need self serve beer because there will be a bottleneck after the ceremony. Can we do buckets on the tables?

She didn't understand cocktail tables, didn't understand the concept of a candy buffet, didn't have pictures of the arch. She tried to tell me that I wouldn't need 2bars (she clearly didn't understand the potential drinking power of our group). She then tells me that they provide a speaker and microphone set up for the ceremony (great!), but that I needed to bring my own CD player (ok, not a deal breaker). She then says, "We're a catering venue, not a wedding venue" so they didn't have someone that could hit "play". Wow. Ok. At least I know what I'm dealing with here!

I took lots of pictures of the space so that I could take it all home and digest it as much as I needed to. Thankfully, MOH K also has event planning experience, so I know I can depend on her for ideas and help. I told "CM"B that I could be as detailed as she needed me to be. I got to work right away on the following diagrams to help her understand my vision:

BOCD (Bridal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)? Yes, I have a bad case. But I want to make this wedding as idiot-proof as possible. Of course, she didn't reply to my email when I sent these. Ok, it was still the holidays, I'll give you a freebie. She didn't reply to my follow up email. Maybe you're not an email person. I left a message. Not a phone person either, huh? I called again. She picked up! Did you get my emails and voicemails? Oh, you did. I understand that you have been getting a lot of calls about weddings...

But HELLO! I'm one of them. *sigh*

Am I alone? Do you have more catering experience than the catering manager you are "working with"? Have any great tips for being ultra-super-duper clear with vendors?